The Day I Shaved My Hair and Lost My Identity
As I lay in bed with my newborn daughter, surrounded by dirty laundry and breastmilk-stained muslin rags, I couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions watching Madonna's sultry dance routine on TV. The singer's confidence and sex appeal sparked both envy and resentment within me. In that moment, I realized I needed to redefine my priorities as a new mother.
With the help of a quick buzz cut, I sought to reclaim some time in my busy schedule and distance myself from the constant attention and scrutiny of being a young mother. I imagined that shedding my locks would not only save me 20 minutes each morning but also allow me to break free from the 'lovely lady' stereotype that came with having a baby.
However, the experience proved to be far more complex than I had anticipated. After getting a number-two buzz cut, I quickly discovered how much of an impact my appearance had on how others perceived me. While being femme-presenting had earned me help and approval, being 'grrrr' resulted in strangers ignoring or labeling me as stroppy.
The temporary dip into anonymity left me with a sobering realization – that our appearance plays a significant role in shaping our social interactions and experiences. In an effort to escape the constant scrutiny of my looks, I inadvertently stepped outside traditional feminine norms and faced harsher treatment as a result.
It took time for me to grow out my hair again, but this experience taught me a valuable lesson about the complexities of identity and appearance. The loss of visibility I experienced as a bald woman was not just about physical appearance, but also about social expectations and the privileges that come with conforming or deviating from them.
As I lay in bed with my newborn daughter, surrounded by dirty laundry and breastmilk-stained muslin rags, I couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions watching Madonna's sultry dance routine on TV. The singer's confidence and sex appeal sparked both envy and resentment within me. In that moment, I realized I needed to redefine my priorities as a new mother.
With the help of a quick buzz cut, I sought to reclaim some time in my busy schedule and distance myself from the constant attention and scrutiny of being a young mother. I imagined that shedding my locks would not only save me 20 minutes each morning but also allow me to break free from the 'lovely lady' stereotype that came with having a baby.
However, the experience proved to be far more complex than I had anticipated. After getting a number-two buzz cut, I quickly discovered how much of an impact my appearance had on how others perceived me. While being femme-presenting had earned me help and approval, being 'grrrr' resulted in strangers ignoring or labeling me as stroppy.
The temporary dip into anonymity left me with a sobering realization – that our appearance plays a significant role in shaping our social interactions and experiences. In an effort to escape the constant scrutiny of my looks, I inadvertently stepped outside traditional feminine norms and faced harsher treatment as a result.
It took time for me to grow out my hair again, but this experience taught me a valuable lesson about the complexities of identity and appearance. The loss of visibility I experienced as a bald woman was not just about physical appearance, but also about social expectations and the privileges that come with conforming or deviating from them.