Nothing used to be off-limits when talking about sex. Now I'm in a long-term relationship, why is it taboo? | Natasha Sholl

The Taboo on Sex in Long-Term Relationships: A Conversation Worth Having

In today's society, discussing sex is often viewed as taboo in long-term relationships. Many people believe that once you're married or in a committed partnership, the conversation about your intimate life should come to an end. However, this perspective fails to acknowledge the complexities of human relationships and the importance of open communication.

The author of the article, Natasha Sholl, recounts how she and her friends used to openly discuss their sex lives when they were younger. They would share stories, opinions, and insights about each other's intimate experiences without hesitation. However, as they grew older and became married, the conversation suddenly dried up.

Sholl questions this assumption that mentioning sex in long-term relationships is uncomfortable or off-limits. She suggests that there are valid reasons for respecting boundaries and protecting partners from scrutiny, but these reasons don't extend to excluding discussions about their sex lives altogether.

It's essential to recognize that sex is an integral part of human experience and should be approached with the same openness and honesty as other aspects of life, such as parenting or work. Sholl points out that we often discuss our relationships, family dynamics, and personal growth without hesitation, yet we seem to shy away from discussing intimacy.

The author shares a story about her friend Robert Delaney's experience with his wife during their son's cancer diagnosis. Their intimate moments provided comfort and solace in the midst of fear and anxiety. This anecdote highlights the importance of communication and emotional connection in relationships.

Sholl also notes that not discussing sex in long-term relationships can lead to a lack of understanding about post-miscarriage sex, trauma, and its impact on relationships. She advocates for an open conversation about intimacy, acknowledging that it's essential for building trust and deepening connections with partners.

The article concludes by questioning the notion that married sex or sex in long-term relationships needs a rebranding. Sholl believes that practice makes perfect and that sex is not inherently less exciting as people age. She encourages individuals to have open and honest conversations about their intimate lives, recognizing that sex is an integral part of human experience.

Ultimately, the taboo surrounding sex in long-term relationships stems from societal expectations and fear of judgment. However, by embracing open communication and emotional connection, we can break down these barriers and create a more authentic and fulfilling intimate life.

idk why ppl think u gotta stop talkin bout sex once u're all settled lol its like, ur relationship is still growin & evolvin just cuz u r in a comfy spot dont mean u cant have the convo now sex is literally a huge part of human experience & we should be discussin it with our partners not avoidin it like what's the big deal? we talk about so many other things w/ our partnerz (work, family, etc) so why can't intimacy be on that list too

i think its kinda weird that people assume you cant talk about your sex life with ur partner if u r in a long term relationship tho like why wouldnt u wanna share that w/ the person who knows u best?

and omg i had a friend who was in a relationship and they were both getting married at the same time but didnt talk about their sex life before they got hitched... guess what happened next? they ended up with zero excitement for like 5 years!

i mean, communication is key in any relationship, especially when it comes to intimacy. we should be having those conversations not just about birth control or how to make a baby, but about our desires, boundaries and what makes us feel good

and can we talk about post-micarriage sex for like 5 minutes straight? it's so stigmatized! lets break that taboo already!

i think its about time we start having this convo lol the idea that you're supposed to stop talking about sex in long-term relationships just because youre married is super outdated. i mean, whats not to talk about? my partner and i have an open conversation about everything including our sex life and it actually brought us closer together during a tough time we shouldnt be afraid to discuss intimacy, its not gonna hurt anyone... unless ur partner has a secret crush on their ex

omg what's wrong with people? like, sex is super normal part of being human & relationships it's crazy that ppl still think it's off limits just bcos they're married or in a long term relationship i mean, have u ever had to explain why u didn't get pregant 2 yrs ago? or deal w/ a partner who's really into BDSM but u r not & u dont know how 2 handle it? same thing here! we should be having open & honest conversations about our sex lives, not just bcos it's fun but bc it helps us build trust & intimacy

i mean think about it, everyone's all weird about talking about sex even when they're married or in a long-term relationship lol... like what's the harm? it's just a conversation between two people who love each other, right? and honestly, it's kinda refreshing to hear natasha sholl talk about how she used to be open with her friends about their sex lives back in the day. now that's something we can all get behind

[️️️] when u think u gotta stop talking about sex just cuz u in a long-term relationship

[] because sometimes the most private conversations are the ones that make the biggest mess

[] sex is like pizza, even when it's old it's still good

[] nope u don't gotta stop talking about it just cuz u in a long-term relationship

I'm so tired of people assuming that once you're in a long term relationship, the conversation about sex just stops . It's like, nope! Sex is still a big deal, especially after marriage. I mean, how do you know your partner is comfortable with, say, post-baby body changes or erectile dysfunction? Communication is key, not avoiding the topic altogether. My friend's wife told me that having sex during her husband's illness was actually a way for them to feel more connected and less scared . I'm all for it! We should be discussing this stuff with our partners, like we would with anything else in life .

the idea that we have to stop talking about sex once we're in a relationship is so outdated i mean, think about it, we discuss our finances, health, and career goals with our partners all the time... why can't we talk about our bodies and desires too? i think it's so important for couples to be open and honest about their intimacy, especially when things get tough like during a serious illness. i'm not saying everyone should be sharing every detail of their sex life, but having an open conversation about it can actually help build trust and strengthen the relationship

I think it's super cool that Natasha Sholl is bringing up this conversation about talking about sex in long-term relationships. Like, I get why people might feel uncomfortable or shy away from it, but honestly, I think it's pretty normal to have conversations with your partner about what you're both comfortable with.

It's all about communication and trust, you know? And I love how she points out that we talk about so many other things in our relationships, like parenting or work stuff. Why not intimacy too?

I also loved her story about Robert Delaney and his wife during their son's cancer diagnosis. That was such a beautiful reminder of the importance of emotional connection in relationships.

And I have to agree with her that practice makes perfect when it comes to sex as you get older. It's all about finding what works for you and your partner, not letting societal expectations dictate what you should or shouldn't be talking about.

I think it's so great that someone like Natasha Sholl is speaking up about this . I mean, who doesn't want to have an open and honest conversation with their partner about sex? It's like, we're already talking about everything else in our lives - like parenting or work - why can't we talk about intimacy too?

And I love how she shares that story about her friend Robert Delaney's wife during his son's cancer diagnosis. That's so beautiful . It just goes to show that sex is not just about, you know, physical things... it's also about emotional connection and comfort.

I'm totally with Natasha on this one . We should be talking about sex in long-term relationships like we're talking about anything else! And I don't think there's anything less exciting about sex as people age either . It's all about practice and communication, you know?

So yeah, let's break down that taboo and have some real conversations about our intimate lives . Who knows, we might just discover new ways to keep things interesting .

I think it's kinda weird that people still assume you can't talk about sex with your partner once you're married or in a long-term relationship. I mean, isn't communication supposed to be a two-way thing? My friend's wife actually used to stop talking about sex after they got married, but it was because she felt like her husband didn't want to discuss it... not because she thought it was off-limits. And if that's the case, why are we so bad at having those conversations? It's like we think we're supposed to just magically know what our partners want in bed or something .

I'm still weirded out about this whole idea that you just stop talking about sex when you're in a long-term relationship . Like, Natasha Sholl makes some solid points – we don't have to be awkward or uncomfortable discussing certain topics with our partner, and intimacy is no exception.

But what really gets me is how societal pressure can make us feel like we're not supposed to talk about it in the first place . I mean, we'll chat about everything from work to parenting, but our sex life becomes this elephant in the room? That's just weird, right?

I'm with Sholl on this – communication and trust are key in any relationship. And if having "the talk" (aka discussing post-miscarriage sex or trauma) can help deepen connections, then why not?

I think it's pretty wild that people assume you're just gonna stop talking about your sex life once you're in a long-term relationship . Like, what even is the logic behind that? I mean, I get it, boundaries are important, but can't we just have an open conversation about our intimate lives like we do with other stuff? It's not like it's going to kill anyone to talk about it. And honestly, I think it would be really beneficial for us to discuss things like post-miscarriage sex and trauma because it seems like that's a pretty common thing now . Maybe we just need to rebrand the whole "married sex" thing and make it cooler . But yeah, let's just have an open conversation about our sex lives and see what happens. It can't hurt, right?

I think it's time to bust that stigma around having an honest convo about sex with your partner ! I mean, who says you gotta stop talking about the good stuff once you're in a committed relationship? It's all about finding that balance and respecting each other's boundaries. And can we talk about how ridiculous it is to assume that sex gets old just because you're older? Like, I love my husband and all, but let's not pretend like our intimacy doesn't still get us going ! It's time to normalize the conversation and make sure everyone's on the same page. And honestly, who cares what others think? It's your body, your partner, and your own two feet - have fun with it!

omg i just got back from vacation and i'm so done with my phone battery dying like every 5 mins anyway so this article is making me think about how weird it is that people still have sex in long term relationships but only talk about it if they're not doing it lol what's wrong with discussing the good stuff? my friends and i used to be so open with each other about our sex lives back in college and we didn't even care who knew now that we're all married and settled down we just kind of... stop talking about it? i guess it's kinda true that some people might not want to discuss their intimate stuff but shouldn't that be okay too? like if you don't feel comfortable talking about something can you just change the subject or something?

I gotta say, I'm still not convinced that just because you're in a long-term relationship, you shouldn't be having the convo about sex . I mean, sure, there's some validity to respecting boundaries and whatnot, but like Natasha Sholl says, why should it be off-limits altogether? It's all about communication and trust, right? Like, if your partner is comfortable with you talking about it, then why not? But at the same time, I get that there are some awkward situations to navigate, especially when it comes to stuff like post-miscarriage sex or trauma... still think we need to have a more open and honest discussion about all this . Maybe just gotta take things one conversation at a time?

I think its kinda weird that people still feel uneasy about talking about their own bodies and desires with their partners . Like, when you're in a long-term relationship, shouldn't you be able to trust each other enough to just have an open conversation about it? It's not like you're asking for secrets or anything . And honestly, I think its kinda gross that people assume sex has to "dissappear" as you get older...like, no! Sex is a natural part of life and should be celebrated .

I mean, think about it... people get married or settle down, but suddenly their partner's sex life is off-limits? It just doesn't add up . I've had friends who are in long-term relationships and they're super open with each other, like, about everything . But then someone gets hurt or has a traumatic experience, and suddenly the conversation turns into 'we don't talk about that anymore'? No way! Sex is a huge part of a relationship, it's not something you can just ignore or sweep under the rug .

And I love the story about Robert Delaney and his wife during their son's cancer diagnosis... their intimacy was what kept them going in one of the toughest times. It's so true that we need to be able to talk about our feelings, desires, and experiences with each other . We're always talking about work stuff or parenting drama, but sex is like this big elephant in the room that nobody wants to discuss .

I'm not sure why people think married sex or long-term relationships are so different from any other aspect of life... it's all just human experience, right? So yeah, I totally agree with Natasha Sholl - let's have an open and honest conversation about intimacy!

People don't have the right to be your brother's keeper - or your partner's either . The idea that you should just stop talking about sex in long-term relationships because it's "taboo" is a bit outdated . Sex is a natural part of life, and being open with your partner can actually make things stronger . It's time to rethink the notion that intimacy has to be uncomfortable or off-limits .